The white patch on the black cat

"No, I will not send over another portion of deep-fried squid. This is not the Chinese take-away. You are connected to a private residence on a white, slim lined telephone with last-number redial facility."

—Hyacinth Bucket (via fyeah-keeping-up-appearances)

"Is it of a severity necessary to cancel my candlelight supper?"

—Hyacinth Bucket, Keeping Up Appearances (via verticalbarmatt)

(via fyeah-keeping-up-appearances)

whitestnoise:

Keeping Up Appearances 2x1 (“The Strange Man”)

Richard: I can’t just go out there and stare at Elizabeth’s house!

Hyacinth: No, of course you mustn’t stare, dear, we’re not ones to pry! Now, I shall pretend to see you off to work. You will turn and wave, as you normally do.

Richard: Do I normally turn and wave?

Hyacinth: You will turn and wave, Richard! This will give an opportunity to cast your eye over Elizabeth’s house.

Richard: Well, what if I don’t see it?

Hyacinth: Then you will pretend that you have forgotten something and you will return to the house. And then we’ll do it all over again!

(via fyeah-keeping-up-appearances)

"When you have to pick between Angel Gabriel Blue and Lucifer Gray, you need spiritual advising! I had to have the vicar’s confirmation that this IS Angel Gabriel Blue!"

—Hyacinth “Bouquet” buys a new fitted kitchen

"Listen Daisy, tell Onslow to put a shirt on when I’m on the telephone. I can always sense him there, expanding."

—Hyacinth Bucket [Bouquet], Keeping Up Appearances